Dead and Gone.

Some people are scared of death. I've always said that I'm not scared to die, I'm just scared of how I die. If I'm going to go in my sleep, then that's fine. If I'm going to go in a car crash during the driver's sleep, that's not ok. Death can be a sad subject, but today I found some humor in it. Today at work, I was eavesdropping on a conversation between two of my office buddies (which is what I spend most of my time doing), and I overheard one woman talking about her relatives. I'm always interested in the family drama of others, so I decided to listen closer. She said, "We already have places for Dad and Grandpa, and now we are just looking for one for Grandma. She's always been very picky." I thought to myself, wow, how sad. She has a full time job and she is trying to take care of 3 people, all of which will soon be in nursing homes. NO. NO MA'AM. THIS IS NOT THE CASE. "Dad," "Grandpa," and "Grandma" are dead. Dead and cremated. They are currently sitting on her mantle, and now Grandma is coming to join them. Who does that?! Why would you keep your dead ass relatives in your house? Does that not weird anyone else out? I'm all for cremation. It will save money on a casket and it'll save some space in the cemetary (unless it's currently blocking out your knick knacks above the fireplace). Part of me is grateful, because now I know they won't be spreading the ashes and I won't get a taste of Grandma's thigh in my mouth when I'm running at the beach, but also, part of me is now very, very scared. What if I ever have to go to her house? I can't carry on a conversation with essence of Grandma floating freely throughout the living room. I think TI had it right in his song "Dead and Gone." Once you're dead, you should be gone! We all remember what happened in the dinner scene of "Meet the Parents." Nothing good comes from dead people.