"However long the night, the dawn will break."
"May the bridges I burn light the way."
I had a somewhat...eventful weekend. There was so much that happened in such a short span of time (I made a mistake of monumental proportions) and it was almost too much to process. Last night I went to sleep at 11 (which never happens) and I just felt so hopeless. I sometimes just get in these moods where I get so angry and upset with myself and others because of some struggles I am having, and last night was just one of those nights. I woke up feeling no better, went to class to take my midterm, didn't talk to anyone, took the test, and came back home to go back to bed. Needless to say, being antisocial will not, in fact, make you feel better. I somehow came across the two quotes above, and in an instant, my day was turned around and I snapped out of it. It made me realize that even when we feel hopeless, when we feel like there is truly no coming out of something, there will always be an end to the negative emotions. I realized that sometimes, in order to make the right decisions, we have to make the right mistakes. I may regret how some things have turned out, but they are just learning opportunities for the future.
(Sometimes my thoughts in blogs are scattered, but I like it. I write things out in the order I think of them.)
Now call me a momma's boy. But when I am sad or I have something exciting happen or I can't decide what to make for dinner or I just had a great audition, my first instinct is to call my mom. If I'm upset about something, we usually talk for an hour, she tells me to pray about it and read my bible, and then we are done. I'll be honest, reading my bible rarely helps. I don't have enough patience to read, interpret, analyze, and internalize it when I'm in a bad mood. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Jesus, but I am stubborn when I'm mad and I want an insta-fix. For some reason, these quotes just hit the spot for me, and I hope you can think of them whenever you are feeling down and realize that, while the end may not necessarily be near, and you may be down for a day, or a month, or longer, there is an end, and there is no better opportunity to learn than from a mistake. I have also learned that if you are going to make a mistake, make it big. Make it HUGE so you won't forget. And have a good ass time making it.
On an ending note, it's now almost 3 AM. I have several midterms tomorrow, which I have been studying for all night. I can tell you all you need to know about copyright law, all of the chord tensions in Clair de Lune, and the 13 deceptive resolutions of a V7 chord. But like it said. It's almost 3 AM.
Good night! (or good morning, depending on your time zone.)